Divine Comedy, Divine Tragedy, Divine Games
by godofhisownstories
Summary: Issei Hyoudou. The loser, the mythical pervert, the legendary idiot. Fated to become a loser as a human, Issei Hyoudou failed to be genre-savvy enough to realize that there is no way a hottie suddenly love him at first sight and asking him for a date in the middle of a street. He end up dying in middle of a park. Only this time, it is not the Abrahamic religion that resurrects him.
1. Chapter 1

I'm sorry. Since I have a short attention span, I lose all motivation to continue my stories. Got inspiration after reading things. Might lose inspiration AFTER or BEFORE finishing the book. Again, Sorry.

* * *

Issei Hyoudou. The loser, the mythical pervert, the legendary idiot. Fated to become a loser as a human, Issei Hyoudou failed to be genre-savvy enough to realize that there is no way a hottie suddenly love him at first sight and asking him for a date in the middle of a street.

Only this time, it is not the Abrahamic religion that resurrects him.

* * *

Chapter 01: Prologue

In all of my time watching the world, never have I found a creature as alien as him.

Issei Hyoudou.

A perverted student. So perverted, in fact, that he earned the ire of his whole school. He and two of his friends are dubbed the perverted trio. They peep changing rooms and bathrooms, watching porns together, and discuss their weird fetishin public. They are the worst of the worst scum in their school, and they certainly won't function in society.

There is nothing important about him. Not at first anyway.

Until I saw it. Brilliant red. The color of domination. The color that our world lacks these days. At the moment I knew...

I need him.

Oh, is that? Someone proposed to him! How lucky I am, Issei Hyoudou, and How unlucky you are!

That girl won't bring you happiness and solace, she will not make your dream come true. No, son, I don't think so.

After all, you are a scum. But It's all right. I've dealt with worse men. Literally. I have thousand years under my belt.

Under me, you will become the greatest warrior the world will know. Under me, you will become renown. Under me, the thing you command will once more become the red dragon.

In turn, you and that red dragon will bring me what I crave the most.

War.

* * *

The girl Yuuma Amano, no, the fallen angel Raynare had done it. She killed the threat. She'd killed the boy. It isn't hard, but playing house is tiring.

She needs to get laid.

She flaps her wings, preparing to take off, but then she's stopped by the arrival of a man in all-black three piece suit, a stark contrast to his graying hair and beard. The man in particular looks normal, at least as a human.

But his aura is anything but. Not to mention the sky grew darker in his presence.

"What a shame, a boy with such significant power must be chained to his lust, never to become greater," the man stopped near the boy, kicking something that Issei Hyoudou hold for dear life, "What a shame Indeed"

"Who are you? This is Grigori's business, don't interfere" Raynare blurted out, not realizing that she's more unnerved by his arrival than she thinks she is.

The unknown man stared at the fallen angel, and Raynare noted that he had mismatched eye color, gold on the right and blue on the left.

The man grinned, a wolfish one, and Raynare take a step back in reflex.

"Who am I? I would love to explain, but alas, time is short. Also, I have no plan to hindering a fallen angel's assignment. In fact, I helped you, " the man makes a 'come here' gesture with his right hand, which causes the thing he kicked away from poor Issei Hyoudou's hand to float into his grasp, "You see, little bird, you need to carefully plan your operations, lest something like this happen"

Raynare eyes widened at the symbol on the flyer, a devil clan's crest. A powerful one, too. The crest of Gremory Clan. The clan that produces the current Satan Lucifer.

Okay, He helped her so maybe it isn't that bad.

"What are you planning to do then? I doubt you went through all the trouble to help a fallen angel" the man's smile unnerve her even more, as it turned into a lecherous one.

"Why not? A body like that is more than adequate payment, most of the time" Raynare scowled at that, she's not just a pretty face damn it! The old man laughed a little at the expression, he just loves baiting fallen angel girls.

A shame, Her body isn't half bad either.

"As for my plan, it is simple, I planned to share with him my mead, teach him what I know about battles, and have him stand next to me in a great war, where he will become a renown warrior" the man declared, holding his hands into the sky, completely lost in his vision.

As dramatic as it is, Raynare isn't impressed.

"If you didn't realize, old man, he's bleeding to death. Even if you managed to salvage him, he's a weak human with weak sacred gear, not worth the price of whatever spells you use to resurrect him" Raynare pointed out, but the old man only flashed a knowing smile.

"Oh, it is worth it alright, no price is too big to earn the favor of Y Ddraig Goch" the old man crouch and touch the brunette's forehead, which causes intricate white-blue line to appear on Issei's whole body.

"What?" Raynare knows she heard it somewhere, but she can't quite recall it. Wait.

Red Dragon...

Red Dragon of Domination...

One of the two heavenly dragons...

Realization dawns in the fallen angel while the old man works his magic. His grin never leaves his face. He's having a blast. Nothing is more fun than seeing a shocked face.

"Raynare, was it?" the fallen angel perked up at that, only to realize immediately that she didn't give her name to him.

"How do you know?" the fallen angel eyed him uneasily, as she reminds herself that as fun as it is to see the old man's teatherical, he is still an unknown.

"I have an eye for this thing" Again the cryptic answer, leaving Raynare half annoyed-half cautious. The old man had finished writing the magic, and now there is only one last thing to do.

"Done" the old man clapped his hand, satisfied with his work. The magic array shines blue-white. Raynare too inspect his handiwork and feel the power emanating from it.

"One last thing" Raynare barely hear him before he severed her tendons and her wings, leaving her completely immobile. By the time she registered it enough to scream, he pushes his fingers to her larynx, rendering her speechless, literally.

"No Price is too big for the allegiance of future heavenly dragon" he quipped, not bothered by Raynare's horrified stare.

The sky growl as if in command. Thunders boom one after the other, almost like a song, and the old man is the conductor. Raynare tries to move away, but she can only create small squirm. A helpless deer in the maw of a great wolf.

The old man lecherously licked the fallen's lips, loving the metallic taste of blood that now covers her usual lilac-like smell. He would have love it to bed this girl, but the promised taste represented by the blood is just too enticing.

She really should have picked a little more crowded space, with more potential sacrifice, that way he might be tempted to take her as concubine.

"I dedicate this soul to renew Issei Hyoudou's life"

A flash of light envelope Raynare and soon she knew no more.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 02: Like Lazarus and the God Shaped Hole (Updated)

Issei Hyoudou is a lot of things.

He's a proud pervert.

He's a boobs lover.

He's a porn addict.

He's a peeping tom, sometimes, when his friends let him have a go, which is pretty rare. Murayama and Katase are his favorite.

He's one of the lowest ranked students, thanks to his perverseness eating up his academic life.

He's dead, courtesy of Raynare.

And He's resurrected, courtesy of Raynare's unwilling sacrifice.

He is not Lazarus, for Jesus resurrect him with tears and belief.

He is a soon to be warrior.

The man in a three piece suit only cares about that. His weapon, which frustatingly, hasn't wake up yet.

What's more, The pervert dares to dream about boobs three minutes after he died. He knows, because he tried to read Issei's mind.

Seriously, his benefactor is amazed. That is some A-Grade brain damage here.

The Old Man brought Issei's body to the nearest motel, hypnotizing the desk clerk and just about everyone that he came alone.

Gotta keep up the appearance of a moral person these days.

In the motel room, The Old Man occupies his time by studying the boy's body. No, not in that way. Although you can't say that this old man doesn't swing both ways. He's been around. Being immortal means he needs to experiment more. Not to mention that it's been a thousand years since he banged his wives, thanks to the circumstances.

Back to the story.

The elder one inspects the boy's chest by waving his hands over it. Trying to read the 'hum' of power.

'The Red Dragon is still asleep, " he realized, feeling his future weapon's aura.

It is when he read his soul, that the old man is puzzled.

He sacrificed a soul of a fallen angel to this human. Low as it is, the reminder of fallen angel's spiritual power should be transferred to the boy and awakening the sacred gear. Should be. But he can't feel it. Correction, he can't feel anything. At this rate, Issei Hyoudou will never awaken his sacred gear.

It can't be...

Issei Hyoudou's soul worth more than just a fallen angel and her body? His calculation was incorrect? preposterous.

Cursing himself, The Old Man meditate near the unconscious Issei, trying to see into the boy's future.

Red... The color of Domination... A gauntlet... A green orb...

'So far so good' He thought, Issei WILL awaken the sacred gear after all.

Alas, Any relief he felt when he saw Issei awakening his sacred gear evaporated quickly as he sees two black bat wings.

"Damn it!" is his future as a devil very crucial, that the world conspire to make him as one, even though he took that fate away?

The Old Man shook his head "Fuck it Those giant bats won't have him."

He has sufficient knowledge to force the sacred gear to manifest, which is a huge gamble since it might break the sacred gear user. He can't have a broken weapon for his scheme. Not this one.

But he can't let Issei become a Devil either.

So The Old Man takes his chances. From one of his pockets, he pulls out a wooden flask.

'Liquid bravery' he mused before he gulp down the content.

After Putting the flask back to its previous location, The Old Man starts his ritual. He bites his index finger, drawing out a little bit of blood, and use it to draw his sigils on Issei's left arm, where Issei manifest his sacred gear, in his vision.

Spells require sacrifices. Some spell only consumes magical power or something so trivial, it is ignored. Sometimes the sacrifice is so small, the caster doesn't feel it. Others require a great sacrifice that it threatened the life of the caster or those around the caster. Other times the sacrifice is vast, but the caster doesn't know it because the cost is distributed throughout the caster's lifetime.

The Old Man is proficient in costly sacrifices. Both long and short term. Awakening sacred gear doesn't consume much from him, the greater part of the sacrifice will be shouldered by Issei. The cost depends on the sacred gear and the 'worth' of the sacred gear's user. With something as colossal as Y Ddraig Goch, it bounds to be great.

The Old Man can only hope that Issei will be left functional by the end of it.

He begins to chant

I, by my divine will and blood, invite thee, who rests within this body and soul, to my feast.

I present thee meads and apples, may thee chose however thy will

In exchange for this banquet, grant the master of this body the strength of heavenly beast

Lead his future and turn him into a warrior of great skill.

The blood array glows dimly before being absorbed into Issei's skin.

Time to play the waiting game.

* * *

The welsh dragon that dwells within Issei Hyoudou loves to sleep. When he's asleep, he dreams of his glory days. He thanked Great Red numerous time in his life as a sacred gear. Even if he's ridiculing the great red in Juggernaut Drive, he's also grateful for the Great Red giving him solace.

To tell the truth, he doesn't look forward to wake up, not really. Waking up means facing Albion's user again and again, with no definite victory. Don't get him wrong, he loves to fight, but a fight without end is just meaningless. He never better himself, He can't create new techniques like in his original body. His role is reduced to being a mentor, a broken record who keeps saying the same things again and again.

How to use his power

His Rival

Balance Breaker

The danger of Juggernaut Drive

etc etc

It is boring as hell after the first few cycles.

That's why he prefers his slumber.

And that's the reason why he's highly irritated when an earthquake-like sensations reverberate in his little jail.

At first he thinks that his newest host finally called to him. Boring.

It quickly turns into interest, as he recognized the power. It isn't human, but divine in origin.

Could it be a demigod this time?

Interest turns into horror, as he read the magic in the air, as he realizes it isn't his host. Someone is casting magic on his host. A powerful one too. It might kill his host.

Correction, **HE** might kill his host.

He tried to resist to give in to the urge that this magic has compelled him. The command is simple. Simple enough for no loophole around it. To sit on the table and eat. Eating in this case, means devouring something that makes up his host's being.

He can't do that. His host is a helpless human. As a heavenly dragon, it is a disgrace for him to do that.

Unfortunately for his host and him, the caster is a master in his art, and soon Ddraig succumbs to it.

* * *

The Old Man gasps for breath. Despite the small sacrifice (for him anyway), it is a spell that requires great control. It is easy to pour too much magic and worsen the side effect. He wipes a sweat from his brow while looking at the storm that rages outside. No air conditioning can help with what he had done. He smears his sweat to Issei's forehead, casting another magic to protect the boy from bad luck.

He's a god of protection, after all, and he must exercise his power every once in a while.

Even if he's but a fraction of who he was.

The Old Man swat the stray thought away, there's no use in being gloomy now.

Besides, he'll get it back, eventually, after Issei Hyoudou grant him his war.

He put another spell to increase Issei's chances of winning against fate. A bit more tiring, but this way Issei won't die from whatever it is he offered as the cost, hopefully.

* * *

Issei Hyoudou dreams of Boobs. Raynare's stripperific Boobs, to be exact.

The boobs dream turns into a nightmare.

His subconscious remembered the ordeal. The spear of light piercing his soft stomach, bleeding out to death, the burning sensation.

But somehow he knows he is in a dream.

Which is why he's not that concerned when a gigantic red dragon appears before his eyes.

Nor he succumb to fear when the dragon starts speaking

[Greetings, human]

 _'Really? Greetings, human? Talk about cliche.'_ Issei deadpanned.

[My name is Ddraig, the Welsh dragon. Although I would love to hear more about you, there are more pressing matters to be discussed]

Issei holds back the urge to say that his name is Indigo Montoya, and instead humour his dream

"What is it, Ddraig-san?" Issei begins politely, dream or not, the red dragon is really terrifying.

[Someone cast a spell inside your body, designed to awaken the sacred gear within you]

"Sacred Gear?"

[Artifacts left by God of the Bible for the humans to protect themselves]

"God of the Bible?" what a curious way to address Christian God.

[Another time, Human, another time] Ddraig impatiently dismiss it, like he said, there are more pressing matters to be discussed. The spell-caster's power is too great for him to stall or explain. The more he resist, the more he wants to eat everything that compose his host. His body, his soul, his spirit, his personality, all of them.

[Sacred gear are powerful tools. However, to awaken them you need to have spiritual power] Oh, this sounds like that manga whitener.

[You are but a weak human, Issei Hyoudou, You're not likely to awaken your sacred gear]

'God damn it' Issei fumed a that. Things are always hard for him, even in his dream.

"But the spell force me to awaken them, even if I am unlikely to" Issei guessed.

[Precisely, a good deductive reasoning, perhaps you're not that hopeless]

Gee, how many times Issei had seen this kind of conversation in movies and comics? It's basically the beginning of the hero's journey.

"I see, so what should I do?" No doubt now he has to gather seven cintamani in order to reverse things, dragon ball style. It is his dream after all.

He can't wait for a kamehameha.

[Now you must choose, which one you want to sacrifice?]

"Eh?" Now this is not what Issei Hyoudou expect, "Sacrifice?"

[You WILL awaken the sacred gear, Issei Hyoudou. The spell compels you to. As it compels me to manifest here. However, you are without spiritual power. You need to sacrifice things in order to gain spiritual power in short order, lest you're trapped here until spiritual power manifest within you] the red dragon grimly said.

"And how long will I have to wait for it to manifest?"

The red dragon shook his head.

[Not wait, Human, train. And for how long, depending on your talent and how far you're willing to go to train]

"And?"

[My judgement is... Not in a thousand years]

"WHAT?" Issei shouted, even in the dream he is a loser?!

[Also, the spell force me to TAKE your sacrifice, whether you like it or not. If we are stalling, I will eat everything that comprises you, which is why you have to choose, human. What do you want to sacrifice?] the dragon barely increases the volume of his voice, yet the space trembled with his power.

That small display of power scared Issei half to death, which is weird because normally this kind of thing will wake him up.

Issei rummage through all the pop-culture and manga-anime reference. What is it that he needs to sacrifice that will allow him to ask more than awakening this... sacred gear, whatever that is. He arrived at a simple answer.

"My Heart" The most cliche thing to sacrifice. The heart is supposed to be the most powerful organ a creature has. In many games, it is treated as powerful object. In that whitener manga, it can be shot to regain power. Surely it is the ultimate sacrifice. He wants to see where this will go.

[Your heart? Are you sure, human?] Ddraig eyes widened a bit. This boy keeps surprising him.

"Yeah, " said Issei disinterestedly. In games, it is fun to watch this kind of conversation, but doing it in dream is just plain boring.

Meanwhile, Ddraig keeps calling his host names inside his mind. Really, his host is an idiot, there is no way to explain it. Should he persuade him not to? A chain-like aura starts to form on his neck, an answer to his question. Ddraig shakes his head in discomfort.

Fuck it, if this is what the boy want, he'll get it. Ddraig gamble on the chance that whoever is stupid enough to use the spell on him has something to remedy the complication.

[O... Okay, fine. Uh.. Heart is much more sacrifice than required, so I will grant you another wish so long as it is within my power]

'Ah-ha!' Issei feels that he hit the right choice, now he will milk it.

"I want to become a harem king!" Issei declared, and all respect Ddraig has evaporated.

[Harem King?] What the actual fuck. Once more the dragon chooses to swallow whatever snark that builds up in his throat.

[Alright, I'll grant you the dragon's blessing. It will increase your power and help attract women to you]

"Hell yeah!" Issei jumps repeatedly. He hit a jackpot, or so he thinks. Ddraig can only watch, sad that the idiot human doesn't know the weight of what he choose to sell.

[Be warned Issei, more enemies will be attracted to you too]

"Yeah, yeah" Issei dismissed the warning, he can't wait to begin this epic dream's journey.

[Alright, then let us begin!]

* * *

The Old Man wakes up from his half-asleep state as he feels there's disturbance within Issei Hyoudou.

It means the spell is working. How well, that depends on Issei.

He wondered though, what did he sacrifice.

The answer comes to hit him like a truck.

Issues chest opens itself up, blood and all, and he can only watch in horror as Issei's heart float before it disappeared, seemingly devoured by an invisible creature.

'Fucking idiot, Did he offered his heart?' the old man's eyes bulged like it is ready to pop from their sockets.

"THE IDIOT OFFERED HIS HEART!" the old man shouted, can't believing what he had seen.

"FUCK!" The Old Man cursed. Seeing all that blood, he responds as fast as possible. First he cast a spell that temporarily puts Issei in suspended animation. Then, he rummages through his hyperspace arsenal, trying to find something that might help him in this case.

If he knew that Issei is going to die either way, he would have taken that sinful fallen angel, god damn it!

"Fucking perverted Idiot, why the fuck did you do that" Half of him is amazed at the idiocy the boy displayed. Holy shit.

He throws objects after objects aside, trying to find the right one. Most of what he has are weapons. He lacks the tools for healing.

Then his hand meets the object he has long forgotten.

The power of life beats inside the branch of a tree he holds right now.

No... It is his most valuable treasure.

Shit, should he save him or not? It starts to feel to be hopeless.

"So much investment for you alone, human. You better worth it" The Old Man makes his decision. He crushes the branch and turn it into a ball-like shape, then he shoves it to where Issei's heart should have been.

"Can you hear me Issei Hyoudou? The Thing that I push inside you is life itself. This thing that originally fills the god shaped-hole in men's heart. If this is not enough to revive you, I don't know what else" the old man desperately cast a healing spell every second, trying to reinforce the branch life properties.

* * *

The welsh dragon watch in interest as Issei Hyoudou fall, blood leaking profusely from the hole in his chest.

The dragon had just shove his finger into the human's chest, pulling out the heart, and eat it raw.

It tastes good. A delicacy. A delicacy that he eats with shame.

The welsh dragon could have warned him, but that would be in violation of God of the Bible's rule, which he must adhere to now that he is in His artifact.

 **Never mess with free will.**

If he tells him the effects of each sacrifice, it is the same as leading the boy to specific answer. It is a sure-fire way to earn God of the Bible's wrath. Usually, the rule is much more lenient, but since the system to enforce free will for humans have higher priority for contracts like this.

As much as his pride wants to refuse that, his logical side wins in the end. He's less than a third of his original power, no way he can match God of the Bible now.

What interests him is how Issei Hyoudou hasn't died yet. Like his analysis, this divine being that used the spell must be fairly powerful. He gauged it when he read the magic that forces him to awaken.

A peculiar smell hit him and he watches in fascination as an Issei's hole start to close itself and green aura enveloped his chest.

[What an interesting life this boy will have] Ddraig comment, remembering Issei's ambition and recklessness.

[You might be my most interesting host so far]

* * *

Author's note

Some of you might want to comment:

"Issei's arm turned into a draconic instead of disappearing, yet in this one his heart disappeared instead of transformed into a dragon's. What drugs are you on, man?"

Well, this happens because of the nature and origin of the spell, more will be explained. Rest assured should Issei choose to sacrifice his arm in later chapter like what he did in novel to force himself to use balance breaker, he'll get the same deal (scaly arm).


End file.
